Understanding Cultural Identity, Belonging, and the Experience of Living Abroad
Have you ever noticed that you feel like a slightly different person depending on where you are?
Perhaps you have become more comfortable expressing your opinions since moving abroad. Or maybe you find yourself missing the familiarity of conversations in your mother tongue, social expectations, or the way relationships used to feel.
Sometimes, returning to your home country can feel different, too. You may still feel connected to your home culture, yet notice that certain things no longer feel quite the same.
Living between cultures can change more than our surroundings. It can also influence how we see ourselves.
When You No Longer Feel Quite the Same
Moving to another country often involves learning new customs, communicating in another language, and adjusting to different ways of thinking and interacting.
Over time, some people notice changes in their values, behaviour, or ways of expressing themselves. They may become more independent, more direct, or more comfortable with differences.
At the same time, they may feel disconnected from parts of the culture they grew up with.
This experience can raise questions such as:
Am I changing? too Canadianized?
Why do I sometimes feel out of place when I return home?
Do I need to change to fit into this new environment?
Where do I actually belong?
These questions are not necessarily signs of an identity crisis. They may simply reflect the ongoing process of adjusting to life between different cultural environments.
Cultural Identity Is Not Fixed
Our cultural identity is shaped by many things: family, language, relationships, values, community, and personal experiences.
When we move between cultures, these influences can change. We may adopt new ways of thinking while continuing to value the traditions and perspectives we grew up with.
Research on acculturation describes this as a dynamic process. Cultural identity is not necessarily a choice between keeping one's original culture and adopting a new one. People can maintain connections to their heritage while also developing a sense of belonging in their new environment (Ward & Szabó, 2023).
In other words, becoming comfortable in another culture does not mean losing the culture you came from.
You can change without leaving your past behind.
The Pressure to Fit In
For some people, adapting to a new culture can come with an unspoken pressure to fit in.
You might find yourself questioning how you speak, behave, dress, or express your opinions. You may become more aware of how others perceive you, especially when language or cultural differences make communication difficult.
Sometimes, this can lead to feeling caught between two expectations: wanting to remain connected to your own culture while also wanting to feel accepted in the new one.
It is worth remembering that cultural adjustment does not look the same for everyone. There is no single correct way to adapt, and it does not need to happen on a particular timeline.
A Person-Centered Perspective: Making Room for All Parts of Yourself
Rather than asking, “Which culture should I belong to?” it may be more helpful to ask:
“What parts of each experience feel meaningful to me?”
Perhaps you value the sense of consideration and connection you experienced growing up in your country, while also appreciating the openness or independence you have developed in Canada.
You do not have to choose one over the other.
From a person-centered perspective, there is room to explore these changes without judging them as right or wrong. Your experiences, values, and sense of identity are your own.
The goal is not to become someone who fits perfectly into either culture. It is to develop a sense of self that feels authentic, even as your life continues to change.
You Can Belong to More Than One Place
Living between cultures can bring moments of uncertainty, but it can also create new ways of understanding yourself and the world around you.
You may not feel exactly the same as the person who first arrived in Canada. And you may not experience your own country in quite the same way you once did.
That does not mean you have lost your identity.
You do not have to choose between who you were and who you are becoming. Both can be part of your story.
At SOEL Counselling & Wellness, counselling offers a space to explore cultural identity, belonging, and the emotional experiences of living between cultures, at your own pace.
Reference
Ward, C., & Szabó, Á. (2023). Acculturation, cultural identity and well-being. Nature Reviews Psychology, 2, 267–282. https://doi.org/10.1038/s44159-023-00171-2
